Flack's Revenge

1 Space, 2 Space, Red Face, Blue Face (Slate Rants on Punctuation and Brings PR into Fray)

My job as a senior manager at a PR agency requires me to do a fair amount of editing and writing.

Yet I am an engineer by education, and my training in these things has been mostly on-the-job (see my previous post about tips for effective writing). I am a believer in the importance of getting these things right; but am not nearly as strict and excitable as some others are when it comes to grammar and style.

Yes I am sure you have all run across the grammar taskmaster, an interesting and amusing breed (often unintenionally funny, as they tend to be rather humorless).  This is a long way of pointing out an article in Slate that my colleague Heather sent to me.  It rails against the practice of uisng two spaces after the period in a sentence.

I have heard arguments for both sides. Writing for Slate, Farhrad Manjoo makes a pretty convincing case for one space (I always though that using two makes the text look a little less cramped).  The article brings PR into the fray as a-two spaces offender.  Here is an excerpt:

Can I let you in on a secret? Typing two spaces after a period is totally, completely, utterly, and inarguably wrong.And yet people who use two spaces are everywhere, their ugly error crossing every social boundary of class, education, and taste.* You'd expect, for instance, that anyone savvy enough to read Slate would know the proper rules of typing, but you'd be wrong; every third e-mail I get from readers includes the two-space error. (In editing letters for "Dear Farhad," my occasional tech-advice column, I've removed enough extra spaces to fill my forthcoming volume of melancholy epic poetry, The Emptiness Within.) The public relations profession is similarly ignorant; I've received press releases and correspondence from the biggest companies in the world that are riddled with extra spaces.

A very interesting and informative article, but not a quick read - did Farhad need to (ahem) use so much space to make the point?

 

Leak Sites We'd Really Like to See

News broke yesterday about renegade Wiki Leakers' (is that redundant?) plans to start a kinder, gentler leak site called OpenLeaks, with a stated mission to serve up leaks without a political agenda.

This led me to ask all kinds of questions. First, what would the tag line be? "Same great leaks, less filling?" And what is the market for agenda-free vs. agenda-heavy leaked info?

It also led me to wonder about the broader market for these types of sites. Let's face it, the diplomatic cables thing was a headline grabber, but how many people actually read any of those cables? Or the news trove that preceded them?

I did (see my posts from last week). Except for that Borat bit, let me tell you, they were real snoozers.

I am always on the prowl for new business ideas, so I thought I'd throw out some ideas for consideration to try to answer this: what are some types of leak sites that people really want to see?

OpenTable Leaks

Combines the concept pioneered by OpenTable with Open Leaks: shares secretes of how to get a great table in a top restaurant in New York City at the last minute on a Saturday night.  Or, the site could offer info about the really disturbing stuff that happens behind-the-scenes at fancy restaurants - the things that do not survive the reality show editors' cuts.

Embargo Leaks

This site will leak all tech news stories in advance, and once and for all put Michael Arrington over the edge regarding his pet peeve: broken news embargoes.

Golden Leaks

This website will features the sexual proclivities of the rich, famous and influential.

Ricky Leaks

This wiki will feature secrets of faded stars of the 80s and 90s, including Ricky Lake and Ricky Martin (whoops,too late)

Jobs Leaks

This site will trump existing Apple watching sites like Apple Insider and the Fake Steve Jobs blog by posting the personal correspondence of Steve Jobs (recall how he got into it with the journalism student who was brave or foolish enough to try personally reach out to Jobs via email).

The bed bugs ate my headline! (and the cure for this)

There is an old saying that holds particularly true in PR: "There's no accounting for taste."

It is sometimes hard to understand why the media latches onto a particular story and will not let it go. This can be extremely frustrating when it is your job to interest them in your client's story and the press may not be biting so eagerly.

Speaking of "biting" I am getting sick and tired of the lowly bed bugs and all the press they have been getting - all without the benefit of PR representation, one would assume. While it is true that the articles have not been exactly flattering, there is no such thing as bad press right?

Well, I have a new idea that can cure the "bed bugs ate my headline blues." Please hear me out as this concept just might have some wiggly, squirmy little legs.

I am envisioning a bed bug-enabled news headline embed strategy via a newfangled, 3D, organic press release (or Trojan bug  - do you see where I am going with this)?

Just find a promiscuous bed bug (that should not be too hard), use a little nano surgery to slice it open, drop press release contents in (via recombinant DNA code), stitch the bug up and send it on its merry way (think of the movies The Fly, Fantastic Voyage and The Social Network, all kind of mushed together).

It will be multiplying and spreading your good news in no time at all.

Latest App, the Portable Schm**ck Detector, Combines Sentiment Analysis & Augmented Reality

I am on a caffeine-induced creative tear very early this morning, and am just overflowing with great ideas, 
so please bear with me and hear me out while the thoughts are fresh in my mind, as they might not seem coherent or even very good in the lights of day and decaf.

At any rate, I was in a new business pitch and the prospect kept bringing up this expression for getting attention - he kept on saying they need to do some "big arm movements," which I thought was pretty cool way of putting it.

Then, I read in the NY Times about how pollsters are using sentiment analysis to understand social media chatter and take the pulses of voters (see my post on this). It seems like this technology is finding more applications, and getting better and more widely used.

Finally, I thought back to my post on augmented reality - the technology that enriches viewing on a cellphone screen by superimposing data over images captured by the camera.

It occurred to me that a some really smart developers could come up with a breakthrough app that combines image capture, pattern recognition, sentiment analysis and augmented reality. It could be used to analyze hand gestures in real time and then superimpose an avatar or caption defining the person and sentiment being expressed.

I know that this is a bold idea and at first might not be easy to follow, so please take your time, and re-read if necessary to take in and understand the richness and brilliance of it.   Wouldn't it be great to have your own portable schm**ck detector, to do the following (perhaps some examples will help here):

• Bird Watcher - Put your field glasses away, this app is not for the naturalist but for the driver - it detects when the middle finger is raised and can help avoid road rage situations
• Look at me, I am Merlin the Magic Wand Waver - This app detects when someone is holding up your elevator ride - it senses hands being waved like magic wands that trigger the optical detector and cause the door to open - it emits a jamming elecotromagnetic pulse to defeat the waving
• Hand Waver - Finally, when someone is prolonging and endless meetings via "look at me, call on me, I need to be heard" hand waving, just point your cellphone - it will identify the offender and then emit a loud fire alarm signal to end the meeting

Marketing with Social Media on a Shoestring: the Man with the Bacon Head

One of the more entertaining stories I heard at AdWeekMedia SocialMedia Strateges earlier this week was  about J & D's Foods, a company that has figured out how to compete against the biggest consumer packaged goods (CPG) brands by launching interesting products in record time with negligible development and marketing costs - all while having some fun, too.

Or maybe the fun is one of their secrets. And oh, yea, the marketing is pretty much handled exclusively with social media. Did I mention that a Man with a Bacon Head is somehow involved in all of this?

Shortly after arriving at the event on Wednesday I spoke with Justin Esch, a panelist for one of the upcoming sessions and a co-founder of J & D's.  He started to tell me the story of his bacon-flavored products company - I more or less zoned out on this until I saw him eagerly waving the latest People magazine (they were in it) and talking about a bacon head.  This got my attention!

I was able to ask a few questions, and then sat in on his session (called "Small is the New Big") to hear the full story.  How could one not want to hear about a company whose mission is to make everything taste just like bacon?

The challenge that J & D's faced as a startup was that the CPG arena is dominated by big brands and big money.  For example, Kroger Foods told them that they should be prepared to spend $20 million to launch a brand in order to get product on their shelves. As Justin said "We were a little short."

So J & D's used size to their advantage, both in production and marketing. 

He realized that they needed to do something ridiculous or scandalous to get attention. Part of this involved launching a series of attention-getting products.

J & D's also got involved with cause marketing.  Justin had the idea of starting with something that costs almost nothing and turning it into a bigger value for a charity they teamed up with. They built a bust of Kevin Bacon made entirely out of bacon. Bidding started at 1 cent on eBay, and the head was eventually sold for over $4K.

J & D's promoted the auction by pushing the story out through blogs, Twitter and social networks. Word spread, and big guns media came calling: USA Today, NPR, People, and Fox News, to name a few.

Justin seemed genuinely hurt when an audience member asked a question that presumed it was all one big joke and that they were all gag products. He pointed out that bacon salt is very real, as is bacon-flavored mayonnaise ("baconnaise").

On the other hand, they did take things a bit far on occassion with gag products - e.g. bacon-flavored baby formula.  Also, the bacon-flavored sex lube fell flat because their primary demographic is women from ages 35-50 in the conservative "Southern U.S. bacon - mayonnaise belt." The lube followed their introduction of bacon-flavored chapstick, a real product that earned a mention on the Oprah Winfrey show.

If you think it is a joke, consider this:  the company has gone from a garage to being in 25% of grocers in three years.

Jason's advice to other entrepreneurs? Be nimble, and don't be afraid to fail. Be honest about failures and be real with the people that you are trying to connect with.

Here are the questions I asked Jason before his session.

Q: So what did the real Kevin Bacon think about the bacon head?

A: He was pretty cool about it

Q: Do you compete with Bacos?

A: No, we want to own each category we compete in and do not have a salad topping.

Curing the Jargon Addiction

One of my recent posts focused on the proliferation of data center jargon. I discussed causes for this, and listed guilty parties such as analysts, corp. marketing departments and ad and PR agencies (yes, I work for a PR agency and freely admit that the profession can be part of the problem).

I thought I would try to rid myself of the habit, and hopefully encourage others to do so too, by listing some of the top buzzwords, and ways in which they irritate.

(For all of the smart alecks who will now go out and try to find places where I and/or my clients have used these words, let me spare you the trouble. I admit that this has happened, and just ask that your bear with me because jargon purging is a process and we will not get there overnight. Like other 12 step programs, the first step is to admit to the problem - which I feel that I have done - and the second is to describe the impact of the problem on others - as I am kind of doing below.  Also, please note that below I am taking issue with the words used, and not the actual technologies).

With these disclaimers out of the way, let me get started:

• On-demand [add noun of choice]
• This is a very pushy way of saying "there when you need it" - couldn't we say "upon polite request?"
• Real-time, Zero Latency
• Just reading this makes me anxious, and the second part sounds like a "don't ask don't tell" proclamation; can't we just say "damned fast?"
• Cloud Computing
• The problem with this phrase is that it is the single biggest excuse for bad puns in the IT industry
• Disruptive Technology
• Sort of the attention-needy class clown of innovation
• Dynamic Tiering
• Have no clue what this is, but it sounds really fast, or like a paper shredder
• Thin Provisioning
• What they do in obesity training programs
• Multi-tenant Environments
• Slumlord of tech

OK, now that we have skewered some of the simpler phrases, let's try to string a few together:

• Virtualized storage solution with data management features, including dynamic tiering and thin provisioning, for multitenant cloud-computing environments

So, do you think that this particular phrase is funny?  How is it funny? Funny like a clown?  Does it amuse you?  Well don't laugh, these words are the same ones that a recent news report used to describe 3PAR, the data storage company that just got bought for $2.3B.

Draper & Company Do PR

I finally got around to watching the first episode of the new Mad Men season, which aired on Sunday.  I was even more eager than usual to welcome the return of one of my favorite TV shows, as this episode was entitled: "Public Relations." The title served it justice, as the theme of PR was pretty dominant throughout.

The episode opens in a restaurant, and it quickly becomes clear that Don is being interviewed by a reporter from Ad Age. Draper is true to his character and prefers to remain tight lipped and enigmatic rather than pour on the charm and carefully crafted messages (a little media training, Don?).

Of course, this gets reflected in the piece.  When they see the article, Sterling, Cooper, etc. are all chagrined that it is more about the cipher called Don Draper than the stellar work of the agency.  Who in PR has not had the experience of a much anticipated article disappointing when it finally appears?

Maybe the team at the new ad shop (those who watch the show will recall that pretty much everyone had jumped ship from Sterling Cooper at the end of last season to start a new agency) is tiring of advertising as it is clear they want to freelance it with PR (with nary a real PR person or agency in sight to support their efforts). In a sub-plot, the team pulls a PR stunt by staging a fight over hams at a supermarket (part of a campaign for their client, to show a shopping craze there). The stunt gets coverage in the Daily News, although there are consequences of course.

Spoiler alert: Don gets his chance to rectify the Ad Age blunder at the end.  Bert Cooper has worked his contacts to get Don interviewed with the Wall Street Journal (one might reasonably wonder why not put someone who actually has a personality, like Roger Sterling, for example, in front of the Journal). Anyway, Don goes on the offensive for this interview, although it is hard to see how this will result in a better story.

The Mad Blog, from MediaPost, does an awesome wrap of the show every week, and I am almost as eager to read these posts and the ensuing comments as watch the actual show.  Of the closing scene, it says that a newly slick Don:

came out with guns blazing for his interview with The Wall Street Journal guy. The metamorphosis, signaled by a dynamic combination of sound interspersed with each line of his new verbal self-promotion, was kick-ass, and a delight to watch.

OK, but does effective media relations need to be "slick?"

Time out for Fun (and Orientation) at Old B.U. Stomping Grounds

This week we took our eldest daughter to Boston for orientation at Boston University, which she will be starting as an undergrad in just a few short weeks.

It was a real blast for me on a number of levels (or wicked pissah, as they say in Boston).  First, I am very proud of her in general - she had a great academic record in high school and is now ready for the big leagues.  She is a very well rounded kid, serious yet fun (OK I'll stop gushing now).  It is a big step, going to college, but she is ready for it.

Second, I am pleased that she selected my alma mater.  I attended B.U. as an engineering student in the early 80's, before somehow winding up in P.R. 

My post Age Regression via the College Tour documented my feelings and experiences about our visit to B.U. in my daughter's junior year of high school.  This time, it really was like going home again - my (soon to be ex) wife and youngest daughter (also a source of great pride) stayed in the dorms.  We visited many of my old stomping grounds - Newbury Street, Faneuil Hall, Copley Square, etc.  I stopped in at Newbury Comics - which was still there, in the same place.  I perused the displays at the famous Condom store, right next door to Newbury Comics, also still there (it was kind of surreal, condom shopping with my soon to be ex, but we get along OK so it was not that big a deal, we actually had a good laugh about it).

During some down time I ran some laps around  the track at Nickerson Field, the same stadium that hosted my graduation in '83 - I used to run there as an undergrad.

Some B.U. kids took us around town and kept us busy in-between lecture sessions, activities that seemed designed to keep the parent and siblings busy while the incoming students got the info they needed (scarcely saw my older daughter during the three days, that was fine, she was having fun, learning and meeting people).

I was thrilled that four of the six kids were Communications school students, and three of these are studying P.R.  One of the kids is an engineering major.  So I had a lot fun talking to these kids, and comparing notes about my time there.

I also felt a little like a VIP, as my name tag clearly identified my as an alum.

Crisis Management in The Office

The Office, one of my favorite TV shows, once again dabbled in my profession as yesterday's episode revolved around crisis management, PR and social media. It was another misguided episode in DIY gonzo PR (see this link for the wrap on an earlier show on the same topic).

In an updated twist, there was a lot more talk about social media this time around.  Just like last time, their collective efforts rendered crisis management an oxymoron.

It all started when word got out that the printers the company now sells spontaneously catch fire (this has been a running sub plot).  Michael confides to the camera that he has indulged in a little DIY "PR," and spoke with a reporter regarding the product quality issue.

It was funny watching the CEO, played by Kathy Bates, try to find out who was behind the leak(s). Michael played along, and hilarity ensued as he, Joe (the new flunky from corporate) and the CEO conducted an inquisition. It was a a real whodunit, a kind of fear and loathing meets The Office as the management team grilled the employees:

• The lawyers and IT came in to do a search of the computers in an attempt to find the leaker 
• Michael said "smash all the computers!"
• Eyes were on Kelly because she tweets, blogs, Woofs (as Ryan said, Woofing is the last word in social networking)
• The IT guy fingered Andy (having caught him taking a video of the printer catching fire for YouTube and writing a letter to an editor) and stormed out flipping a pix elated finger as he quits in disgust

This was not quite how we handle crises in the real world, but it was fun to watch nonetheless.

In Comedy and Interviews, it's all about Timing and Segues

Jokes.com
Doug Benson - Working on Segues
comedians.comedycentral.com
Futurama New Episodes Funny Demon Zombie TV Show Funny TV Comedy Blog

I enjoy listening to Slacker Radio on my BlackBerry when I go running.  While some like to workout to music, I enjoy listening to the Slacker comedy channel.

One night recently, while running along the beautiful Croton River gorge in the scenic Hudson Valley village where I live, Doug Benson (a Last Comic Standing star) came on, and did a bit on comic segues.  Here's some text from it, and the video (see above).

A lot of comedians work really hard on their jokes, which I think is really awesome.  But, what I've been doing lately is working on my segues.  Those are the transitions between jokes that let the audience know that you've changed topics.  It's very important.  So I hope you enjoy my jokes tonight... but I hope you really enjoy my segues...

I am getting too old for this sh-t

Pigs like sh-t, did you know that in your lifetime you are more likely to get attacked by a domesticated pig than by a shark?  Especially if you swim in pig-infested waters.

Dingos can swim.  I used to have a pet dingo - but the most ironic thing happened: a baby ate my dingo!

Babies love Vegas!

Pretty funny, and reminded me of the instructions we give during media training: know your key messages, stick to them and BRIDGE (another word for segue) to your messages.  Also, in both comedy and media interviews, timing can be important, and you need to put up with some heckling.

So I thought I would combine the two and envision what a tech interview in Doug's bizarro world might sound like, an interview that might happen if the client watched Doug's video in lieu of media training:

Tech Exec: Our databases and system are the MOST scalable

Reporter: Sounds great, what are your annual revenues?

Tech Exec: Revenues, scalability, it's all good, either way we are kicking some serious butt, but seriously, folks....

Reporter: Yea, OK, right, who are your customers?

Tech Exec: Customers?  The biggest, the most impressive, a who's who of the Fortune, and fortunately they all really love that scalability I was telling you about...

Reporter: This is getting tiresome, can't you give a straight answer?

Tech Exec:  Straight answers? The road to the truth can be straight and swerving...

Reporter:  Is there any chance that you will you tell me about your profits?

Tech Exec: Absolutely, our Pro version is a great Fit for all types of companies

Reporter: Alright already, go ahead and tell me about your scalability

Tech Exec: It all starts at the application layer...  we layer all this tech talk so we can sound very impressive....  the numbers are indeed impressive, it all gets down to the number of CPU cores... and that is core to our scalability and our value prop... so make sure you give us some props in that damn article